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Archive for April, 2011

And then the darkness surrounds me I know I’m alive but I feel like I’ve died.

I’ve spoken before of death, but when I spoke of it then it was more physical than spiritual. This past week I’ve felt death overwhelm me in more of an emotional, spiritual way.  Even though today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of the week that’s just not how it turned out to be. I spent most of the day resting and studying, but throughout all the distractions considering I wasn’t at my own home studying and resting I have come to feel emotionally shot. It’s hard for me to cry or express any emotion towards anyone, I haven’t truly felt happy for about six months. It’s hard to barley smile for that long but I just can’t bring myself to feel happy, no matter what I do. Lately I’ve been going through lots of rough times, I feel lost and alone ninety percent of the time and the other ten percent is spent trying to feel happy because of the people around me that I don’t want to make feel worse. The point in me telling you all of this is because just like the last post about death there is something that is making itself known to me telling me not to give up. That something is actually a someone, God.  That’s how I know there will be Beauty From Pain.

Keep walking through the rain, eventually you’ll reach the rainbow~

 

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