On the radio this morning they played our song~

That moment when you feel like everything you thought was certain, everything you thought would last a lifetime just falls through the cracks and now you don’t know for sure that those things will last, even any longer than the current day. At the moment I am very insecure with myself, could I have prevented this, is this my fault, did I push this thing into these cracks. I don’t know who is at fault but all I know is I am tired, I am tired of wanting the effort, the love, appreciation, and the proof that you are happy and still want this. My outlook is that it was me because I felt if from the start that this would end in a rocky offset I don’t know how we got here kind of way. Im not okay with comfort, I hate knowing that the only way to feel alive in something is to feel the pain, why don’t I feel alive from happiness or love, or appreciation. I know not the answer, but I do know that I cant feel this way anymore. I want happy and crazy and stay up all hours of the night laughing,  I want to truly be able to base my good day on something other than I actually got my work done and I haven’t cried today. That is pathetic, which by the way is how I feel. Pathetic. I doubt you read this, since you don’t take much interest in me like you used to, so I guess this okay to say, I’m taking a break. No cockiness intended but until I am shown that you want me I can’t keep going, they say if you love her show her, because if you don’t someone else will. 

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