This is the part of me~

That you’re never gonna ever take away from me*

So you come in and make me say things that literally make me shake, make me wanna go run about ten miles. But I can’t because I have stuff to do. Most of which is made of the hurry up and wait game. It’s quite obnoxious.

Well I guess everyone has someone in their personal life that has this affect on them every time you’re in their presence. I think the bad thing about these people is that sometimes you are forced to love them, love the sinner hate the sin, it’s harder than it seems. Life is complicated, and it seems to get more so as I get older. People are so selfish they don’t even happen to realize what the date is. How hard is it to say Happy Birthday. Especially when you see the person in public.
I just can’t understand how this is possible, it is just irrelevant to my mind how cruel people are. They lie, steal, cheat, and so much more. Yet they feel no remorse for what they have done. It makes me sick, sitting here typing this out is just about the only way I can handle not vomiting right now. I think what appalls me the most is that the ones that hurt you the deepest are the ones that mean the most to you.

I thank God for you helping me get the better life but I absolutely can’t stand you or anything you do or say. I had to tell you how I felt today, I just hope maybe it won’t make the mess we are in any deeper, because in all honesty I think I just might drown.
I’m getting on without all of your complications, but if you come around again I will personally ask you to leave, because this family just can’t take it.

~D

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt, because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything, because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in, because of you I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.- Kelly

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This is how you remind me~

So I haven’t been blogging lately and I should get back to it. I must say it is a stress reliever. Even if nobody reads it except me, it’s alright because my blog really just helps me.
I can’t run tonight because it is to late in the evening, so I sit here catching up on homework and other stuff. Warning, this blog post isn’t anything specific but it might make the next one turn to a rant since my thoughts are moving around.

Today was mothers day, so I spent it with my family and celebrated with some really good food! I also got to drive a standard truck in the rain for the first time and I must say it was an adrenaline rush and very fun. It makes me really wanna learn more and get to be good at it. I think once I get old enough and can drive myself with my own car driving will be another stress reliever to add to the list.

I find it funny how the end of the school year seems to be the worst. It throws so many emotions in crazy directions, tests out the ears and teachers making you do work when you are dying inside because you have been taking those ridiculously long tests all week. I must say I really am regretting this year going by so fast, it feels like just yesterday I was walking down the halls of high school on the first day being confused and going to lunch alone because we hadn’t figured out how to plan things just yet. I will truly miss freshman year. I am scared I didn’t pass my EOC tests because to be honest here, I feel like I didn’t attend school enough to learn what I needed or my mind was busy thinking about other things. If I continue going to public school (pray for me) next year then I will be making changes, because this is a horrible feeling, I don’t think I have ever felt like such a failure, and I won’t even know if I actually failed until like June 8th, how stupid?! Anyways, there is a high chance I will be homeschooling next year, honestly I just don’t know what to think. Everyone is moving, my favourite coach/teacher is moving, next year has a high chance of being cloudy with meatballs, or aka: a disaster..

Well I guess that’s all for now folks.

‘Gonna get through this with the help of the guy upstairs.~

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