The Black & The White.~

All these photos are via: Tumblr.

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He’ll trade her heart for a trophe.~

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These streets are dead just waiting to come alive.~

I find it so sad that our society nowadays can’t handle the fact that sex is a post-marital thing, meaning after marriage. The fact that you can’t have enough dignity to stay pure & keep your body and soul to your self, that you just give it all away the moment there is an opportunity is trashy and makes you look “easy”. The girls who do this think that guys respect them for it, well newsflash it will only make them see you as a piece of “meat”. I know for a fact that it is not hard to wait & save you’re self. With that said I also know there is pressure, but the word “no” feels good coming out of your mouth rather that saying yes and regretting it later, because frankly you don’t have sex physically and I don’t care how many people think they can, it is impossible. It’s emotional more than anything, because it is a passionate thing. Which is why it shouldn’t be something taken so lightly.

People throw the words love and hate around like they’re nothing. People in general say I hate you all the time, in Deuteronomy 22:13-18 it says;

• 13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
•  ¹⁴ And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
•  ¹⁵ Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
•  ¹⁶ And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
•  ¹⁷ And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
•  ¹⁸ And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

-King James Version.

So when did that stop? Why is it so okay to have sex before marriage and for us to hate? It’s not, sadly enough we are a very irresponsible society.

On the other hand, why do we throw love around like it’s nothing. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but when someone says ily it is different that I Love you. When you spell it out it is symbolizing you care more that you do with ily. So why are we always telling someone I love you, when love is not a simple thing. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says;

• ⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
•  ⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

-New Living Translation

People say you can fall in and out of love, well sorry to tell you it never was love if it is past tense. Even in the circumstance of death you can still love someone.  Love never ends so next time you go and tell someone you love them think about what you are saying, that you will be patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, proud or rude, not demanding, irritable, and you don’t hold a grudge against another person. That you don’t say I told you so, that you will never give up or lose faith in this person, that you will always hope and in the worst of worsts you stay.
I myself have a lot to work on in the language of love but it is worth it, because if you truly “love someone” you won’t have issues with working on your problems in order to love them more.

~When you’re honest with yourself that is when you can start expecting to be that better person because no one is perfect, and accepting struggles within is one of the hardest things to do.~ 

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What are you seeing?~

Wow.. So winter break rocked my world, to the point where I feel like now I am having to get back in to a different time zone. :p I miss everyone of their darling faces, and I really wish I got to see them more often because being so far away is dumb. I have decided I want a few states and countries to merge. I am coming off this high that I was on, for the lack of sleep and happiness running through my veins, I think that if this is how drug addicts feel then I am so glad I don’t do drugs because this is not fun. The emptiness is being filled now by music, currently superchick stand in the rain. I cried earlier when I spent 20 minutes starring at myself to decide what to do with myself at that point, I ended up falling asleep. Now I am awake, and thinking of eating a carrot, I’m pretty sure I’m addicted now.

At the end of it all I’m very blessed to be in your arms.~

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& the water is rising quick

We can’t be sure when it will subside~

There’s all this unsaid stuff, it clogs up the pores of life.  It makes situations awkward and unbearable sometimes. I hate not talking but evermore sometimes talking is to much to handle. So what do we do then, at that moment when you’re stuck in the awkward spot but not willing or ready to talk about the problem? We breathe, take a step back and think about the actions we are about to take, ask our selves if walking away is better than sticking through the awkard moment and just letting that person know that you are there and that is all you can do right now. It’s a very hard thing to do but when you do it eventually there will become results.
The thing is everyone has all these emotions, love, hate, anger, happiness, joy,disbelief..etc. But noone knows what to do with them or where to put them. Do we express our ever most feelings even if it means hurting one person but also it could mean helping another? What is a person to do. Well in reality anyone can tell you that expressing an emotion will open someone or something up, maybe it will upset someone, or maybe because you told someone you could end up in a relationship which could end up in marriage. All these emotions can affect our world so much I think that is why nobody knows how, when, or where to express them. The truth to that is, ultimately there is not “right” time for anything. So the best way to deal with these crazy emotions is to let them out and tell someone, whether that be person to person, blogging, singing, or what ever you find that works when it comes to expressing yourself. My point in all this, is our society is shy and lazy. We hide behind excuses and reasons why to not do something, it’s time to step up and let our emotions be heard.
Over all love is louder than the pressure to be perfect, so stop trying to act like everyone else. Be you.
Have a lovely evening.~

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I pray angels protect you.~

I know I said I didn’t but I did. I loved you somewhere along the line, and now I wish I never met you. Not because  I hate you or don’t like you but honestly because my life would be better without that feeling. We made plans and promises that not your or I kept, we were young and hoping for the best.

All girls wonder, what their wedding day will be like, what the feeling of love is like, holding your first kid, accomplishing a goal, and so much more. Our minds wander and explore. Someone once said “girls start making wedding plans just because he said hi to you” It’s true. No one knows why, not even the girl. Guys get upset because we get attached and to emotional, when there is nothing we can do about it. I don’t know why everyone wants us to live in a box, when in reality our wonders that I mentioned up there usually turn into dreams, so we start dreaming early and hoping for the best, sue us. Our parents say you can do anything if you set your mind to it and they’re songs talking about wishing on stars and making dreams come true. I personally think girls learn how to handle life better because with each dream there is a let down, from falling off a bike and getting back up to falling in and out of love. Being able to move on with life after every let down since we were young makes us strong.

Love is stronger than the pressure to be perfect.♥

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There will never be anyone as good as you~

I hate this. I hate having really good thoughts and intentions on writing something then this little demon gets in your head about things in the past and now I have nothing that makes sense. Yeah that is my night for you. Well I wish I had good enough thoughts to publish them but for now I am ranting.

Have you ever had something mess with everything you do? Not being able to live your life without a reminder of that little demon? Yes I refer to it as a demon because I feel like it is haunting me. I thought I let it go but I guess it’s harder than I thought when the subject gets brought up at the lunch table and all you want to do is run and scream. I am still trying to let my past go, I just wish everyone else would too. It makes life so hard to live when all you can think about is your wrong doings in a past life time. Knowing you can’t go back and stop it before it started also makes life hades. I wish someone knew everything, the whole situation, where I really was and what really happened. At the same time I know that opening up that wound would cause more damage than healing. So for now God and I are the only ones to discuss the subject and since he hasn’t replied to my thoughts yet, I guess I’ll just keep rambling and hope he understands me. Out of site out of mind right? Isn’t that the saying, well I hope eventually It’ll work for me. Here’s to a new life and starting over, with my whole heart guarded this time.~

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‘Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything’s okay~

Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I’m left with nothing ~Two is better than one: Boys like girls.

So I guess you could say that life seems to have been falling off a cliff here lately, I’ve been living but very slowly and nonchalant about most things.
I really hate with all of my being,( take in mind I rarely hate things.) how something that someone else has done or is doing can affect you and your life, and make you just want to throw things and scream into pillows, simply because you can’t do anything about it no matter how hard you try.

I guess you could say that people in my life are making stupid decisions. There is this couple, when I first met them I was young, naive and hoping for the best in life. I still do but in a different perspective, thinking back on everything that has happened in the last year is the reason I have a different perspective. I guess things were never okay with this couple but now they are defiantly on every level wrong and continue to get worse. I really want to try to help them well her anyways, but I feel really betrayed. I tried throughout the whole year until here recently to try and be there for her, to comfort her. Give advice, I thought friends were supposed to be there when the boyfriend was not, that is why I stuck around. But when you give all you can and then find out that what you said or the actions you took were nothing to your friend, it makes you think about that saying, I’m sure some of you know chicks before … and why that didn’t come into play in this situation. I’ve got plenty of scars in my heart from this whole ordeal and to be honest I got them because of their foolish actions, and she never tried to help me get out of the situation, that is what makes it look selfish on her part because she dragged me along with her, and I have never had a friend drag me along with them and watch me be in pain and hurt over it but never try to help or stop it! I guess that is where part of the betrayal comes in at. I try to think how I could have not got into it and not had this problem and what should have been or would have been if I was at this place at this time. Truthfully now there is nothing I can to do to change the past so I have to keep living. I hope that I can get out of this with no strings attached and that is what I plan on doing this summer, not having strings to anything un-important.

So I honestly don’t have much trust for anyone anymore, simply because of the lies and the practical jokes. The lies only make me feel bad because why wasn’t what we had worth the truth? Why not just be honest? Am I those roads you drive on every day home from work and never have to look at the sign because it is that worthless to you? Do you feel you can play those jokes without me feeling hurt? Then when the joke is over there are two different reactions, I understand it was a joke and I never thought of it being more than that, but you think that a joke isn’t over until you act like it never mattered in the first place and can just go rub it in my face , well good job, now I feel used and once again worthless. I don’t know how someone like that could have those thoughts but it is possible. I guess getting your expectations up to high only ends in hurt. In the end you find out who will hurt you, who is worth spending the time to talk to, and who your true friends are. Should you or I have to go through all that to figure it out, I don’t think so but so far I haven’t found the loop-hole to this awful thing called reality.
I guess it is time to move on with life and start living again.

On a happy note –
This hat is really pretty and if I ever went to England I would try to adapt to their unique ways of wearing hats. This was worn to the royal wedding.
I’m sure Kate and William are happy, I know I would be if I were them.~

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