Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I’m left with nothing ~Two is better than one: Boys like girls.
So I guess you could say that life seems to have been falling off a cliff here lately, I’ve been living but very slowly and nonchalant about most things.
I really hate with all of my being,( take in mind I rarely hate things.) how something that someone else has done or is doing can affect you and your life, and make you just want to throw things and scream into pillows, simply because you can’t do anything about it no matter how hard you try.
I guess you could say that people in my life are making stupid decisions. There is this couple, when I first met them I was young, naive and hoping for the best in life. I still do but in a different perspective, thinking back on everything that has happened in the last year is the reason I have a different perspective. I guess things were never okay with this couple but now they are defiantly on every level wrong and continue to get worse. I really want to try to help them well her anyways, but I feel really betrayed. I tried throughout the whole year until here recently to try and be there for her, to comfort her. Give advice, I thought friends were supposed to be there when the boyfriend was not, that is why I stuck around. But when you give all you can and then find out that what you said or the actions you took were nothing to your friend, it makes you think about that saying, I’m sure some of you know chicks before … and why that didn’t come into play in this situation. I’ve got plenty of scars in my heart from this whole ordeal and to be honest I got them because of their foolish actions, and she never tried to help me get out of the situation, that is what makes it look selfish on her part because she dragged me along with her, and I have never had a friend drag me along with them and watch me be in pain and hurt over it but never try to help or stop it! I guess that is where part of the betrayal comes in at. I try to think how I could have not got into it and not had this problem and what should have been or would have been if I was at this place at this time. Truthfully now there is nothing I can to do to change the past so I have to keep living. I hope that I can get out of this with no strings attached and that is what I plan on doing this summer, not having strings to anything un-important.
So I honestly don’t have much trust for anyone anymore, simply because of the lies and the practical jokes. The lies only make me feel bad because why wasn’t what we had worth the truth? Why not just be honest? Am I those roads you drive on every day home from work and never have to look at the sign because it is that worthless to you? Do you feel you can play those jokes without me feeling hurt? Then when the joke is over there are two different reactions, I understand it was a joke and I never thought of it being more than that, but you think that a joke isn’t over until you act like it never mattered in the first place and can just go rub it in my face , well good job, now I feel used and once again worthless. I don’t know how someone like that could have those thoughts but it is possible. I guess getting your expectations up to high only ends in hurt. In the end you find out who will hurt you, who is worth spending the time to talk to, and who your true friends are. Should you or I have to go through all that to figure it out, I don’t think so but so far I haven’t found the loop-hole to this awful thing called reality.
I guess it is time to move on with life and start living again.
On a happy note –
This hat is really pretty and if I ever went to England I would try to adapt to their unique ways of wearing hats. This was worn to the royal wedding.
I’m sure Kate and William are happy, I know I would be if I were them.~
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This is who we are becoming~ 