Did you not see~

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love 
The love that you never knew~
JJ Heller, Love Me.

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When I see your smile, tears run down my face~

I’m so blessed to have a WordPress because it is my place. The place where I can put my emotions on the page and be okay. These emotions aren’t bad, just me being me. I have to keep telling my self “good things come to those who wait” because I am a very impatient person. I don’t like waiting although I have to do it all the time in life. I have got so impatient I really don’t like waiting on a train or a light, whereas a year ago I was fine with it. I truly believe patience is a virtue, one that I am trying to grasp back into this thing I call life. I think that is all for now.

Have a wonderful weekend to you & yours.~

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I went sky diving~

So it’s that type of night where music plays as loud as it goes to block all but a few in the world out in a good way. At the moment I really like life even if I have had some bad times today. I love being able to feel at peace with myself and others because I don’t have any weight on my shoulders. I love having wonderful people in my life who I can trust and not have to worry about who will have my back in the end. I really love music and how it can lift your mood, along with good friends. I’m really excited to get to start driving soon, and being able to feel a little more independent. I was listening to What about now by Lonestar earlier and I really like these lyrics:

What about now, why should we wait
We can chase these dreams down the interstate
And be long gone ‘fore the world moves on and makes another round
What about now
We could hang around this town forever making plans
But there won’t ever be a better time to take this chance.

 

It is mostly self explanatory, but it makes me just want to get out there and do something with this life of mine. You never know when you will take your last breath so just like it says why wait to do something, why not take that chance, why let little things get in the way of you following your dreams & achieving your goals?

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These streets are dead just waiting to come alive.~

I find it so sad that our society nowadays can’t handle the fact that sex is a post-marital thing, meaning after marriage. The fact that you can’t have enough dignity to stay pure & keep your body and soul to your self, that you just give it all away the moment there is an opportunity is trashy and makes you look “easy”. The girls who do this think that guys respect them for it, well newsflash it will only make them see you as a piece of “meat”. I know for a fact that it is not hard to wait & save you’re self. With that said I also know there is pressure, but the word “no” feels good coming out of your mouth rather that saying yes and regretting it later, because frankly you don’t have sex physically and I don’t care how many people think they can, it is impossible. It’s emotional more than anything, because it is a passionate thing. Which is why it shouldn’t be something taken so lightly.

People throw the words love and hate around like they’re nothing. People in general say I hate you all the time, in Deuteronomy 22:13-18 it says;

• 13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
•  ¹⁴ And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
•  ¹⁵ Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
•  ¹⁶ And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
•  ¹⁷ And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
•  ¹⁸ And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

-King James Version.

So when did that stop? Why is it so okay to have sex before marriage and for us to hate? It’s not, sadly enough we are a very irresponsible society.

On the other hand, why do we throw love around like it’s nothing. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but when someone says ily it is different that I Love you. When you spell it out it is symbolizing you care more that you do with ily. So why are we always telling someone I love you, when love is not a simple thing. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says;

• ⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
•  ⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

-New Living Translation

People say you can fall in and out of love, well sorry to tell you it never was love if it is past tense. Even in the circumstance of death you can still love someone.  Love never ends so next time you go and tell someone you love them think about what you are saying, that you will be patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, proud or rude, not demanding, irritable, and you don’t hold a grudge against another person. That you don’t say I told you so, that you will never give up or lose faith in this person, that you will always hope and in the worst of worsts you stay.
I myself have a lot to work on in the language of love but it is worth it, because if you truly “love someone” you won’t have issues with working on your problems in order to love them more.

~When you’re honest with yourself that is when you can start expecting to be that better person because no one is perfect, and accepting struggles within is one of the hardest things to do.~ 

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& the water is rising quick

We can’t be sure when it will subside~

There’s all this unsaid stuff, it clogs up the pores of life.  It makes situations awkward and unbearable sometimes. I hate not talking but evermore sometimes talking is to much to handle. So what do we do then, at that moment when you’re stuck in the awkward spot but not willing or ready to talk about the problem? We breathe, take a step back and think about the actions we are about to take, ask our selves if walking away is better than sticking through the awkard moment and just letting that person know that you are there and that is all you can do right now. It’s a very hard thing to do but when you do it eventually there will become results.
The thing is everyone has all these emotions, love, hate, anger, happiness, joy,disbelief..etc. But noone knows what to do with them or where to put them. Do we express our ever most feelings even if it means hurting one person but also it could mean helping another? What is a person to do. Well in reality anyone can tell you that expressing an emotion will open someone or something up, maybe it will upset someone, or maybe because you told someone you could end up in a relationship which could end up in marriage. All these emotions can affect our world so much I think that is why nobody knows how, when, or where to express them. The truth to that is, ultimately there is not “right” time for anything. So the best way to deal with these crazy emotions is to let them out and tell someone, whether that be person to person, blogging, singing, or what ever you find that works when it comes to expressing yourself. My point in all this, is our society is shy and lazy. We hide behind excuses and reasons why to not do something, it’s time to step up and let our emotions be heard.
Over all love is louder than the pressure to be perfect, so stop trying to act like everyone else. Be you.
Have a lovely evening.~

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I pray angels protect you.~

I know I said I didn’t but I did. I loved you somewhere along the line, and now I wish I never met you. Not because  I hate you or don’t like you but honestly because my life would be better without that feeling. We made plans and promises that not your or I kept, we were young and hoping for the best.

All girls wonder, what their wedding day will be like, what the feeling of love is like, holding your first kid, accomplishing a goal, and so much more. Our minds wander and explore. Someone once said “girls start making wedding plans just because he said hi to you” It’s true. No one knows why, not even the girl. Guys get upset because we get attached and to emotional, when there is nothing we can do about it. I don’t know why everyone wants us to live in a box, when in reality our wonders that I mentioned up there usually turn into dreams, so we start dreaming early and hoping for the best, sue us. Our parents say you can do anything if you set your mind to it and they’re songs talking about wishing on stars and making dreams come true. I personally think girls learn how to handle life better because with each dream there is a let down, from falling off a bike and getting back up to falling in and out of love. Being able to move on with life after every let down since we were young makes us strong.

Love is stronger than the pressure to be perfect.♥

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There will never be anyone as good as you~

I hate this. I hate having really good thoughts and intentions on writing something then this little demon gets in your head about things in the past and now I have nothing that makes sense. Yeah that is my night for you. Well I wish I had good enough thoughts to publish them but for now I am ranting.

Have you ever had something mess with everything you do? Not being able to live your life without a reminder of that little demon? Yes I refer to it as a demon because I feel like it is haunting me. I thought I let it go but I guess it’s harder than I thought when the subject gets brought up at the lunch table and all you want to do is run and scream. I am still trying to let my past go, I just wish everyone else would too. It makes life so hard to live when all you can think about is your wrong doings in a past life time. Knowing you can’t go back and stop it before it started also makes life hades. I wish someone knew everything, the whole situation, where I really was and what really happened. At the same time I know that opening up that wound would cause more damage than healing. So for now God and I are the only ones to discuss the subject and since he hasn’t replied to my thoughts yet, I guess I’ll just keep rambling and hope he understands me. Out of site out of mind right? Isn’t that the saying, well I hope eventually It’ll work for me. Here’s to a new life and starting over, with my whole heart guarded this time.~

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Lalalala love~

Happiness cancels out all the negative.

So I have a ton to say and write about but lets just keep it simple. I am feeling extremely motivated to do something exciting with my life, and make it worth while even if I am doing it by my self. Today has been good, no drama or tears. I feel like my life is content right now but at the same time I want to get out there while this joy inside is happening and share it. I have been getting on the social networking sites lately and it is pretty depressing when you’re in a wonderful mood and then all you can read all the way down the screen is negative things or something about someone  feeling worthless. It hasn’t ruined my joy because the joy I have is pure and I have been waiting on this kind of happiness for so long that this feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted. I remember days when I would think back and couldn’t even remembered the last time I smiled and now I smile all the time. I truly believe that a day without laughter is a day wasted. I also believe a day without something positive or music is a day wasted. So why waste your days being unhappy? I’m not sure where people think happiness comes from but I can tell you that the only pure joy doesn’t come from girls or guys, but from true friends and God. It took me a little while to figure that out but now that I have my life is so much easier and filled with joy. If your looking for that pure joy then I would suggest talking to God and asking him to restore your happiness.(: Joy is so much more  enjoyable than depression or sadness.~

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I found a real love and he is my ransom~

I finally know that I’m where I’m suppose to be
so I raise my hands I get on my knees
because there is nothing like the day the Spirit captured me
and there is no one greater I surrender I don’t need another Savior
I’m never going to run~

 

All the times we had, all the memories made. I want to thank you, no matter how badly I’m hurt thank you for those good times. You truly cared at one point and time, as of now I’m not so sure. I realize you were a great person but you scared me with weapons sharper than knives or blades. It’s time for me to move on and I realize that now. So I’m sorry for any pain this may cause you but I am done. I love you, goodbye.

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The beginning process~

Someone once asked “what are your goals in life or do you even have any?”  Then there was another question asked, “are you living your life wholeheartedly or are you just going through it like nothing matters?” Well in my head I answered both those questions in many thoughts, it made me write lists and things I want to accomplish in life and, ways I want to truly live. I could tell you those things  but right now I’m still in the writing process. I have many hopes, dreams, and goals for the future. I’ve been told many times that my standards are set to high and, my lists of accomplishments are to long also, that I will never achieve my goals. For some reason I never take those people seriously, I believe with all my heart that with help from God, friends, and family I will be able to check off every thing on those lists. The main thing that those questions made me think of wasn’t who or what I wanted to be, where I planned to live, who I wanted to marry, how many kids I wanted to have. No, but the question “if God decides that these plans that I have, these lists I am making aren’t what he wants me to do will I be okay with that?” Well the answer is yes. I am not one of those people who give up easily nor do I get discouraged easily but I do believe that God has an attendancy to change people’s plans and that is just fine with me. So yes you could say that my goals aren’t set in stone. I do know what I want to be and I will make plans to do so but I will not be one to blame God if my plans don’t turn out how I wanted them to.I think people need to accept things in life and realize that sometimes there is a reason your not doing what you planned to be doing at this moment in life. I see many people worry about not having a job or even a good one. Well I really just want to encourage you to trust that God has it in his hands and he commands you not to worry, you must believe with your whole heart that he has it taken care of. He will do what is best for you in the long run.

 

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