This is the part of me~

That you’re never gonna ever take away from me*

So you come in and make me say things that literally make me shake, make me wanna go run about ten miles. But I can’t because I have stuff to do. Most of which is made of the hurry up and wait game. It’s quite obnoxious.

Well I guess everyone has someone in their personal life that has this affect on them every time you’re in their presence. I think the bad thing about these people is that sometimes you are forced to love them, love the sinner hate the sin, it’s harder than it seems. Life is complicated, and it seems to get more so as I get older. People are so selfish they don’t even happen to realize what the date is. How hard is it to say Happy Birthday. Especially when you see the person in public.
I just can’t understand how this is possible, it is just irrelevant to my mind how cruel people are. They lie, steal, cheat, and so much more. Yet they feel no remorse for what they have done. It makes me sick, sitting here typing this out is just about the only way I can handle not vomiting right now. I think what appalls me the most is that the ones that hurt you the deepest are the ones that mean the most to you.

I thank God for you helping me get the better life but I absolutely can’t stand you or anything you do or say. I had to tell you how I felt today, I just hope maybe it won’t make the mess we are in any deeper, because in all honesty I think I just might drown.
I’m getting on without all of your complications, but if you come around again I will personally ask you to leave, because this family just can’t take it.

~D

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt, because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything, because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in, because of you I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.- Kelly

This is how you remind me~

So I haven’t been blogging lately and I should get back to it. I must say it is a stress reliever. Even if nobody reads it except me, it’s alright because my blog really just helps me.
I can’t run tonight because it is to late in the evening, so I sit here catching up on homework and other stuff. Warning, this blog post isn’t anything specific but it might make the next one turn to a rant since my thoughts are moving around.

Today was mothers day, so I spent it with my family and celebrated with some really good food! I also got to drive a standard truck in the rain for the first time and I must say it was an adrenaline rush and very fun. It makes me really wanna learn more and get to be good at it. I think once I get old enough and can drive myself with my own car driving will be another stress reliever to add to the list.

I find it funny how the end of the school year seems to be the worst. It throws so many emotions in crazy directions, tests out the ears and teachers making you do work when you are dying inside because you have been taking those ridiculously long tests all week. I must say I really am regretting this year going by so fast, it feels like just yesterday I was walking down the halls of high school on the first day being confused and going to lunch alone because we hadn’t figured out how to plan things just yet. I will truly miss freshman year. I am scared I didn’t pass my EOC tests because to be honest here, I feel like I didn’t attend school enough to learn what I needed or my mind was busy thinking about other things. If I continue going to public school (pray for me) next year then I will be making changes, because this is a horrible feeling, I don’t think I have ever felt like such a failure, and I won’t even know if I actually failed until like June 8th, how stupid?! Anyways, there is a high chance I will be homeschooling next year, honestly I just don’t know what to think. Everyone is moving, my favourite coach/teacher is moving, next year has a high chance of being cloudy with meatballs, or aka: a disaster..

Well I guess that’s all for now folks.

‘Gonna get through this with the help of the guy upstairs.~

The Black & The White.~

All these photos are via: Tumblr.

Gliding.~

Just when I had you off my head
Your voice comes thrashing wildly through my quiet bed, I love you more than songs can say
But i can’t keep running after yesterday.-John Mayer.<3

The silence & the beauty.

I love the way You love like no other
It’s got nothing to do with anything that I do
Time and time again You forgive me
So this time I choose to stay here with You

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don’t wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
I just can’t get over You

Here in the arms of my Father
Only grace can be found
So I lay my fears down
Nothing is the same anymore
You’ve changed me from the inside out
Now my heart is beating and it’s singing won’t You…

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don’t wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
I just can’t get over You

I can’t get over You

I can’t get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
I can’t get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord

Even through the good and the bad times
You stay the same
So my song will remain
Lord…

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don’t wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
I just can’t get over You

I can’t get over You
I can’t get over You
There’s nothing I can’t do
I just can’t get over You

I can’t get over You
-Anthem Lights.<3

Staring blankly ahead~

& now I understand.
Making my way through the crowd.

When I see your smile, tears run down my face~

I’m so blessed to have a WordPress because it is my place. The place where I can put my emotions on the page and be okay. These emotions aren’t bad, just me being me. I have to keep telling my self “good things come to those who wait” because I am a very impatient person. I don’t like waiting although I have to do it all the time in life. I have got so impatient I really don’t like waiting on a train or a light, whereas a year ago I was fine with it. I truly believe patience is a virtue, one that I am trying to grasp back into this thing I call life. I think that is all for now.

Have a wonderful weekend to you & yours.~

Recognize & Empathize~

He’ll trade her heart for a trophe.~

I went sky diving~

So it’s that type of night where music plays as loud as it goes to block all but a few in the world out in a good way. At the moment I really like life even if I have had some bad times today. I love being able to feel at peace with myself and others because I don’t have any weight on my shoulders. I love having wonderful people in my life who I can trust and not have to worry about who will have my back in the end. I really love music and how it can lift your mood, along with good friends. I’m really excited to get to start driving soon, and being able to feel a little more independent. I was listening to What about now by Lonestar earlier and I really like these lyrics:

What about now, why should we wait
We can chase these dreams down the interstate
And be long gone ‘fore the world moves on and makes another round
What about now
We could hang around this town forever making plans
But there won’t ever be a better time to take this chance.

 

It is mostly self explanatory, but it makes me just want to get out there and do something with this life of mine. You never know when you will take your last breath so just like it says why wait to do something, why not take that chance, why let little things get in the way of you following your dreams & achieving your goals?